And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize