dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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