Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
