i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize