Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
