i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
