Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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