I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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