i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
