Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
