dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize