Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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