You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
