the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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