yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
