I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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