I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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