I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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