redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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