There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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