You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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