have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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