Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
