ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
