What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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