I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
