It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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