You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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