he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
