Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
