there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i was in the wii world.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
