he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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