if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
whose parrot is this?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
