Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
