belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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