Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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