It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Someone came in the potted fern
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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