Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
