Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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