Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
