Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
