he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
