so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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