hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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