Umm I'm too high to move.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
