She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
