But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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