Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
