I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize