Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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