Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
