Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
