One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
