Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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