I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
