I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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