It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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