she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You're like the curious george of whores
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
