I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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