You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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