I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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