I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
