You're my little dorito
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
