Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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