party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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