please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
