The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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